What is happening to me?
This was probably one of the most awful days I’ve ever survived. Everything felt like it always feels.. Always nervous before school, I like school but i’m always nervous before I enter the school building. I’m nervous at school as well but it’s not the same kind of feeling. We had class and I just felt like I would break down. I can not concentrate what so ever. I went out of the classroom for a while just to clear my mind. Went back in.. Then this feeling came. I should’ve had a separate class but my teacher went out and talked to my friend she didn’t feel well and she never talks to anyone. So they went in and talked. But at that very moment everything just fell apart inside of me, I have no idea why? It just happened. I went to the principal and told him that I had to leave for a while. I had a hard time breathing and my heart was beating so fast. I don’t know if it was for real or if I just like.. Uhm.. I don’t know. I was so frustrated at that time, I couldn’t think clear. There are so many people in my world that cares about me and still I can’t feel that happiness that I used to feel like a year back. It hurts to see people laugh and have fun, because I can’t. Even though I try to have fun it’s not real, it’s fake. I just keep on wondering why I have to suffer this much? Everyone deserves happiness why can’t everyone get happiness? Is it too much to ask for? I think so.
